Wait.

Lately, God has been telling me to wait.

It started at the Omaha Airport last semester. Ice caked onto the wings of all the airplanes, including the one previously scheduled for an hour flight to Saint Louis. About twenty-five of us Dordt students ended up spending the night half-sleeping on thin carpeting beside a telephone booth, listening to the overhead speakers announce time and again that the terrorism warning level was at orange.

Two bean burritos, five cups of Diet Coke, and twenty five hours later, my sister and I started our trek home. The Southwest Airlines staff had informed Rachel and me that the next available flights out of the airport were two days from then, a fact that we could not stomach.

Instead, Dad and Grandpa hopped into our gold-colored Buick and drove ten hours to pick us up. The drive back involved rush-hour traffic in Kansas City and listening to my grandfather’s stories of work as a bank auditor. All was fine, but after no sleep, all I could dream of was a bed and a nice pillow to lay my head on. I wanted to explode in frustration. Instead, I tried to keep my mouth clamped shut and wait.

But wait, there’s more waiting. Over break, I waited in long lines to buy Christmas presents. I waited for long phone calls but only gained a single short one. I waited for pizza at Alfonzo’s. I waited for state representatives to return my phone calls. No such luck.

When I got back to Dordt, I waited for my roommates to arrive. I waited for my new computer to arrive. I waited for a guy to follow through. I waited impatiently to sleep at night. I waited for my interest in my major to pick up. But time and again, I was sorely disappointed.

Last Sunday, Dr. Brue spoke encouraging words that resonated with me. In reference to being open to God, Brue said that it takes time—as with any relationship—for intimacy to blossom. It takes time for the deepest questions we have to be answered.

All this waiting—all these sleepless nights over issues that I cannot change—will eventually bring about answers. As for now, there are no answers. My only answer is to be strong and wait on the Lord. Cliché as this might sound, it is the only truth that I have. I know that God is leading me with this notion of waiting and of hope, but I cannot figure out where.

I must live the questions now, and perhaps the answers will be revealed to me later.